A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother’s labor pain to the baby’s father. He asked if they were interested, Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever

experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer.

The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the husband’s blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the mail man dead on the porch.

But first, here are the Runners-up
























































































And the winner is....

At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
   At age 12, success is...having friends.
     At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
       At age 20, success is...having sex.
        At age 35, success is...having money.
        At age 50, success is...having money.
       At age 60, success is...having sex.
     At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
   At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.

I found out a way to check the real status of my Yahoo Messenger list using this cool Web site. Some of you might have known about this before but for others here it is:

Check out: IMvisible

Use this site to check on your friends real YM status by signing using your username and password on YM and there you go, it will automatically check their status one by one or you can check on them manually. You will know whether they are offline or just going invisible.

ENJOY!

Hahay... pastilan abi kog makalusot na sya... hehehe

Technorati Tags: dui, driving under the influence, lusot na unta

Tags created with Ukion Tag Generator

Yeah, cool man! Congratulations Barack Obama!

Technorati Tags: barack obama, obama, president-elect obama, obama raps, whatever i like, obama sings

HAHAHA! Mas maayo pa i-agi na lang nato ug sayaw ang tanan!

Technorati Tags: obama-mccain dance off, obama dances, mccain dances, palin dance, us election, presidential candidates dancing, dance contest

Designed by Sonette Ehlers, Rapex - dubbed the 'rape trap' - is a South African product worn internally by women. The hollow inside is lined with rows of razor-sharp hooks, which are designed to latch on to a rapist's penis during penetration. They can only be removed by a doctor.

South Africa has the highest level of sexual assault in the world where a staggering 1.7 million women are raped every year. It has met opposition from both the government and feminist groups who call it a return to the days of the chastity belt.

slightlywarped.com

Mutagam na gyud ang mga rapists, kung makatilaw sila ani.

Technorati Tags: anti rape device, rape guard, rapists

1) Matulog sa insaktong oras

2) Regular nga pagbisita sa imong dentista

3) Suot sa insaktong sapot sibo sa panahon

4) Panutbrush kada human ug kaon

5) Likay sa sobrang alak o bino

6) Magsuot ug seatbelt.

7) Pakita sad ka sa adlaw panalagsa

8) Kaon sa insaktong mga pagkaon

9) Ipauga una ang buhok bag-o mugawas.

10) Pakig lambigit sa imong mga higala.

11) Pagbasa aron ma eksersyo ang utok.

12) Regular nga pagkaligo

13) Dili magpalabi ug kaon

14) Pahiyom

15) Likayi ang sobrang kape

16) Regular nga pag pagawas sa hugaw

17) Regular nga pag eksersyo

18) Regular nga pag pa check-up sa mata

19) Kaon ug utan

20) Huna-hunaa nga ang uban modayeg sa imo sa imong pagka-ikaw. Tuo lang.

21) Higugma-a ang imong silingan sama sa paghigugma nimo sa imong kaugalingon.

22) Pagbaton ug talento

23) Pag selebrar sa mga okasyon

24) Mag bakasyon panalagsa

25) Pagpasaylo

Technorati Tags: 25 ways to improve your health, funny pet pictures, dog pictures, funny dogs, funny pets

Dili kaha ni sila mangunay ug kaon sa ilang mga amo? Gasto siguro kaayo ni sila sa bahog no? Mas dako pa man siguro ug kunsumo ang iro kay sa amo....

Technorati Tags: big dogs, animal pictures, pets

Matag buntag mag-eksersays ang mga madre libot sa ilang compound. Ang paagi sa ilang pag-eksersays mao ang pagbisikleta. Apan kay lagi mga madre, ginadili alang kanila ang pagsaba.

Usa ka adlaw, nag-eksersays na sab ang mga madre kuyog ang ilang superyora. Nagbisikleta silang tanan. Pag-agi nila sa usa ka gamay'ng hump sa dalan, naniyagit ang mga madre, "Aaaaayyyyy!!!" ug nang-agik-ik. Napungot ang ilang madre superyora kay ginadili alang sa mga madre ang pagsaba-saba. Mibadlong siya, "Mga sisters, palihug ayaw kamo pagsaba kay makawala kana sa dignidad sa atong pagkamadre!" Ug nanghilom ang mga madre.

Nagpadayon sila'g tindak sa ilang mga bisikleta. Sa unahan, nakaagi na sab sila'g hump. Ang maong hump mas dako-dako kay sa ilang naagian ganina. Pag-agi nila sa hump naniyagit na sab ang mga madre, "Aaaaayyyy!!!" ug nang-agik-ik. Gipaningot silang tanan. Napungot na sab ang ilang madre superyora ug mibadlong, "Mga sisters, palihug intawon ayaw kamo pagsiyagit-siyagit kay mga madre kita! Abi pa lang unya mga mahilayon kitang mga madre!" Ug nanghilom ang mga madre.

Padayon gihapon ang mga madre sa ilang pag-eksersays. Pag-abot sa unahan, diha'y dako gyud kaayo nga hump. Nakabantay ang madre superyora sa dako nga hump ug nahadlok nga basin maniyagit na sab ang iyang mga kaubang madre.

Busa, mibadlong siya daan sa iyang mga kauban, "Mga sisters, adunay dako kaayong hump sa unahan. Kon inig agi nato nianang hump maniyagit pa gani mo, ako na gyud na'ng pabutangan og lingkoranan ang inyong mga bisikleta."

Original source: Unknown, this is from a friendster bulletin posted by a friend.

Technorati Tags: eksersays sa mga madre, hump, bisikleta, madre

China milk poisoning incidents make
everyone afraid to look at the daily news report. Everyday, the reports are changing. No one can clearly tell us what to eat and not to eat.

What really is poisoned milk？

It is the milk powder mixed with "MELAMINE"

What is Melamine use for？It is an industrial chemical
use in the production of melawares.

It is also used in home decoration.
" US resistant board"

Do you understand？Melamine is use in industrial production，it cannot be eaten！

Why is Melamine added in milk powder？

The most important nutrient in milk is protein. And Melamine has the same protein that contains "NITROGEN"

Adding Melamine in milk reduces milk content and it is cheaper then milk so it lowers capitalization.
It can give the business man more profit!。

below is Melamine，doesn't it look like milk？
it doesn't have any smell, so cannot be detected。

When was it discovered？

Year 2007　 US cats and dogs died suddenly, they found that pet food from China contains Melamine.

Starting 2008, In China , an abnormal increase
in infant cases of kidney stones.

August 2008 China Sanlu Milk Powder tested
with Melamine

Sept. 2008　 New Zealand gov't ask China to check this problem
Sept. 21, 2008　Lots of food products in Taiwan tested with Melamine


What happens when Melamine is digested？

Melamine remains inside the kidney. It forms into stones
blocking the tubes. Pain will be eminent and person cannot urinate. Kidney will then swell.

Although surgery can remove the stones, but it will cause irreversible kidney damage. It can lead to loss of kidney function and will require
kidney dialysis or lead to death because of uremia.

What is dialysis？In fact, it should be called "blood washing"
it is filtering all of the body's blood into the machine and then go back to the body.

The whole process takes 4 hours and it is necessary to dialysis once for every 3 days for the rest of your life。

Here is a dialysis center

Large dialysis center

A small hole is required in the arm to insert the
sub-dialysis catheter.

Why is it more serious in babies？Because the kidney is very small and they drink a lot of milk powder.

Here is a baby undergoing dialysis.

China currenty has 13,000 infants hospitalized

It does not matter how much a human being took
Melamine. The important point is "It cannot be EATEN!"

What are the foods to be avoided?

Foods that contain dairy products should be avoided.

Remember: Foods with creamer or milk should
be avoided.

Original source unknown

Technorati Tags: melamine, china food, beware of melamine, china products, what is melamine